May 10, 2018

I’m cordless! That stupid pole is now gone!

They stopped dripping medication for my kidneys. Instead, they’ll just insert medications throughout the day.

I can finally walk around without dragging that big stupid pole. Now I can walk outside my unit and downstairs. Walking is a lot more tiring dragging the pole around.

There was a festival today on the 3rd floor. For some reason, Tearaway, a video game, wants to advertise their product at a children’s hospital.

There was a PS4 demo, which was cool. With the PS4, they demonstrated VR. I couldn’t bend my neck around for the VR because of my neck staples. I don’t want to pull at them since they’re practically loose.

They gave me a water bottle, lunch box (like I’d be going to school soon. Ha!), and a blanket.

September 28, 2018

Today was my doctor appointment. At 7 AM I woke up and got into the car. I slept on the whole ride to Stanford, except waking up to take my medicine.

I remembered to grab the cards we made at the Pink Dot Club meeting (see September 18, 2018). After putting on my mask, we went to my appointment.

After my echo, which is an ultrasound (the ones the doctors use to take pictures of babies in their womb) of the heart, we were told to wait outside. After a room was available, we quickly went inside.

The doctor examined me and told me the results were good. My Prograf levels were good, and they didn’t change anything. I talked to the doctors about my leg pain. Last year, I was hospitalized for extreme calf pain. After being discharged from the hospital, I had to be homeschooled for a month before I was able to walk around my school again. My mom expressed concern about it being from my hypereosinophilic syndrome, a blood disorder I contracted leading to my heart failure. The doctors told us to book an appointment with the doctor that deals with my hypereosinophilic syndrome (see October 16, 2018).

After the appointment, we delivered the cards. We went to the Cardiovascular ICU (Intensive Care Unit is where patients are admitted when they have a serious illness that needs constant monitoring) and delivered as many cards as we could. We also saw Jessica (pseudonym) and delivered her card. We couldn’t say hi because she was too busy with her VR game. Nicole’s room was empty.

The rest of the cards we donated to the Family Resource Center. The Family Resource Center is a department in the hospital that allows patients to rent games, movies, books, or is a place for families to relax or get work done. It’s where I rented the Mission Impossible series, Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Avengers series, the Captain America series, Matilda, Tom and Jerry, and other movies.

Later that day I had a swimming lesson at 4:30. I’m still a beginner at swimming, but I know I have the ability to get better. After transplant, I can even be on my High School’s swim team! After swimming, we met up with Joanna and Andrew (see June 16, 2018) for ramen.

November 2, 2018

Today was my doctor’s appointment. Since my Mom is in Paris, I went with my dad instead. We left around 7 AM.

At the doctor’s appointment, I went in for an echo first. An echo is basically an ultrasound for your heart. Then I met with my doctor.

A funny story about my doctor: he knew me since I was a baby. When I was at Kaiser being treated for my hypereosinophilic syndrome, I was his first echo. When I was older and transferred to Stanford, I was also his patient. He said he only knew two people with hypereosinophilia, and I was both of them.

I recited my medication: 1 mg pill of Prograf 2x a day, 360 mg tablet of Cellcept 2x a day, 120 mg capsule of Cardizem 1x a day, and 100 mg of Gleevec 1x a day. If you’re a transplant recipient, you probably know all of them except for Gleevec. By my 3 months post transplant, I got off many drugs, for example Prednisone.

I lost a pound between now and 3 weeks ago. The doctor advised me to eat more protein. Since I am exercising, I’ll burn my calories and gain muscle. I’ll start drinking protein shakes again.

It is 6 months post transplant. Now I’ll only have hospital clinics, echo, and blood draws once a month. I’ll also only have to do biopsies once every 3 months.

I almost left the appointment without getting the flu shot. Since I am fresh out of transplant, I have to get my flu shot in 2 phases. During the last doctor appointment, I had my first dosage. This appointment I got my second dosage.

December 12, 2018

I think I’m losing hope.

My G-tube doctor is going to start me on new medication. It’s going to stimulate my appetite.

Since August, I haven’t gained any weight. If I don’t gain weight, then my G-tube is never going to be out.

I’m so sad.

Everyone can eat! That’s what being normal is. Eating is normal. I’m not normal.

The main reason why I want my G-tube out is because I want to be normal. No one else has a G-tube, so why should I?

Yet.. yet I can’t survive without it. That makes me sad.

I thought I was doing so good. I’m eating and exercising. My health is my number one priority, yet I’m not taking care of it?

I eat before school, at school, right after school, and then a meal for dinner. I even have a cookbook!

And it’s not working!!!

Everyone has opposite problems. Everyone just eats and eats, even if they’re full. I wish I could be like that.

Just because my problem is the opposite from everyone else’s doesn’t mean it’s not any less significant.

I’m also nervous about starting the medication.

When I started the Amiodarone, it interacted with my blood thinners and sent me to the hospital. If somehow the pills interact with my other medications and I need to be sent to the hospital, then that’ll suck a lot.

Of course I can just not take the medication. But I don’t know if I trust myself. I thought I was doing great, but noooooo.

It was predicted that by February I would get my G-tube out, but now it’s not a when but if question. If I don’t gain weight by February then I’ll have to get back onto the feeding.

So what am I going to do about it?

In the Ronald McDonald House, I always pushed my endurance everyday. I have a problem that I can overcome with some work.

For one, I have a scale. I can check my weight. Maybe not daily (I don’t know if I’m dedicated enough for that), but at least more than once a week. Secondly, I can snacks throughout the day. When I’m doing my homework, when I’m sitting in class, or when I’m being lazy.

The future of my body depends on these 4 months between today and March. I need to gain weight.

December 19, 2018

My appetite medication was approved by the doctors at Stanford. They said that other patients also take them.

I don’t think I actually want to take them.

The reason is that I don’t want to get help for something as basic as eating. That’s a little embarrassing.

I think I’ll just eat.

But can I eat?

I don’t know.

January 3, 2019

I had leg pain today.

I don’t know what triggered it, but I had leg pain, again, today.

I followed my usual routine for when I have leg pain: take 2 Tylenol, and the pain goes away.

I wonder, is it possible to develop an immunity towards Tylenol? I know bacteria can develop immunities towards antibiotics, so can my pain get so used to Tylenol that it  won’t affect me anymore?

I wonder…

January 5, 2019

I took the appetite pill for the first time today.

When I visited the G-tune doctor on December 12, 2019, he said that I needed to gain 10 pounds by March.

He prescribed me appetite pills, but I never took them.

Why?

I feel that I can gain weight without having to take medication. I mean, anything is possible, right?

Well my Mom obviously thinks I can’t, so I took my appetite pills today.

January 16, 2019

Today was my biopsy.

What is a biopsy? A biopsy is when they take a piece of tissue. For me they take a piece of tissue from my heart to test the amount of rejection I have.

At 8 AM in the morning I went to get a blood draw. The doctors constantly test my blood to see how well my immunosuppressant, Prograf, is working.

I’m not allowed to eat or drink anything. I’ve been NPO (nothing by mouth) since midnight.

At 10 AM my Mom told me that we needed to go to Stanford.

At Mountain View, I dropped off a package to ship to Noah. Noah is my friend I made at the Ronald McDonald House.

The parking garage for the Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital was packed. That’s sad.

Every car represents one child. One child in the hospital being treated for something god knows what. And if they’re at Stanford, they’re obviously not here for something as small as a cold.

Inside the hospital, someone stopped me and said that they saw my video. His Mom found the video from the Make-A-Wish website. He said it was “sad but in a good kind of way” and it “made him cry”.

That touched my heart. Honestly, that someone cried because of my video, it made me feel proud. I’m actually making a difference in this world.

At 2 PM I went into Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital short stay unit. I used to go to their surgery center, but now that I’m using less and less anesthesia, I have a faster recovery time. The short stay unit means I have a shorter stay.

I hate placing in IVs. You would think that I would gotten used to the pain, but I haven’t.

I use tons of numbing medicine when they place in the IVs. I still feel the pain. At least the numbing medicine gives me a sense of security.

A child care specialist gave me VR goggles to play with while they put in the needles. VR goggles? I know, VERY fancy.

Honestly, all the VR goggles did was make me extremely anxious for the poke. However, I made sure that there was a hole so that I could see what was going on.

They poked me two times unsuccessfully. The third time they put in an IV. This IV was at the middle of my arm, so I couldn’t bend my arm or anything.

My biopsy was pretty short. I was not unconscious, just kinda high. No pain, just pressure on my thigh.

A doctor came before I was discharged. She told me that I should still be continuously be checking my blood pressure. I haven’t. 😬

I will definitely now. I feel so stupid for not doing that.

The doctor also said I was okay to do weight lifting. Just multiple reps with only light weights. And nothing to do with my scar area.

My Mom doesn’t want me to do weightlifting. She’s rather me do cardio, because she worries about my heart all the time.

We got back home at about 9 PM.