15 Years Left

What people don’t know is that an average heart after a pediatric transplant lasts for 15 years. A heart after transplant doesn’t last forever.

Before I could was evaluated for the transplant list, I went in for transplant education. When I went in for transplant education, they told me my heart would not last forever.

They emphasized: “transplant is a treatment, not a cure”.

Everything I’m doing right now is to expand the expiration date of my heart. Exercise, nutrition, and constant monitoring is all I can do.

The thing is, it won’t be enough. Even if I do happen to expand my heart for thirty years like Lizzy, I’d still be 45 when I have chronic heart failure again.

I do have hope in medical research. Technology is accelerating at an exponential rate, and we don’t know what’s in the future.

However, for the sake of argument, let’s say my heart only lasts for 15 years and I die at 30.

That is crazy.

In case you didn’t know, I just had my midlife crisis on March 24, 2019. I was 16.

It’s not something teenagers have to deal with, but it’s something I have to deal with.

Also, that’s why I’m writing this right now.

I’ve faced death before, and I never realized it. This time, it’s for real.

Ignoring death isn’t going to do anything for me. I know it’s a long ways off, but I should still prepare myself for it.

So, how do I live my life with such a short lifespan?

I don’t know.

The only thing I know is I want to leave behind a legacy. That’s why I became so invested with this blog.

Even though it has literally no views, I hope it’ll go somewhere in the future.

What is the sake of life? Love? Hope? Mortality?

Again, I don’t know the answer. No one knows the answer.

What I do know is that my life is meaningless. I’m just one in 7 billion.

What we also know is that life is fun. Meaningless, but fun.

Full of hope and sorrow, happiness and sadness, success and failure.

That’s what I’m going to strive for. Hope with the hard times I’ll face, happiness throughout my life, and success with the dreams I imagine in my head.

I know that right now is not the end of my journey. In fact, it’s just the beginning.

In my future I predict obstacles I can’t even fathom right now. But I know with love, hope, and perseverance, I can do anything.

I’m not going to tell you what to do with your life. Your life is up to you.

I’m sorry if this depressed you. Don’t worry, it’s not the facts you have to live with.

If you want to take away something from this, just remember there’s hope in this life. Life is pretty confusing, weird, and overall miserable, but it’s also kind, hopeful, and wonderful.

Some people try to focus on their passions and legacy, others on short term, dopamine releasing fun, and a lot on careers and what society expects of them.

Live your life to the fullest, and no regrets.

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