May 22, 2018

I had my first psychology appointment today.

At the hospital, I was miserable and pretty sad, so I was looking forward to my psychology appointment.

I’m required to go to psychology because they think as a teenager I’ll screw up. Turns out a lot of teenagers die after transplant because they refused to take their medications. That’s dumbbbb.

I mean, really? I know you need to fit in, but I wouldn’t risk death. Your life depends on this medication.

For my first psychology appointment I was asked to make a timeline of my life, then write down my goals for 10 years from now.

Okay, when I was 2 I was rushed to the hospital because I was vomiting. It took 2 weeks for the doctors to diagnose me with hypereosinophilic syndrome. My heart was damaged so I needed my first open heart surgery. Then April 10, 2018, I was put on the heart transplant list. On April 27, 2018, I had my heart transplant.

My goals In 10 years: running triathlons, graduated from University, and living with my partner (whoever they are). Oh yeah and a nice job that pays me a 6 digit salary. That’s the good life.

We then talked about adjusting back to “normality”. If someone asks me, “Where were you during the school year?” I’ll just answer “I had some business to take care of.” If they keep pressuring me, then I’ll say “I was visiting my family in China.”

I don’t want to be weird. I don’t know how people would react if I said if I was in the hospital.

I think it’ll be hard for me to go back to school and pretend none of this ever happened. I don’t think I can go back to my old mindset where all I worried about was my grades. I guess what my Mom said was right, “It’s better to live in ignorance than in fear.”

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